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Rahul Gandhi walks into ICICI Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning Ma’am, would you please cash this cheque for me?”Cashier: “It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?”
RG: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Vice President of the Congress Party,d future Indian PM.
Cashier: “Yes Sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers, I must insist on seeing ur ID.”
RG: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”
Cashier: “I am sorry sir but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”
RG: “I am urging you, please, to cash this cheque.”
Cashier: “Look Sir,dis is what we can do. One day, Sachin Tendulkar came into the bank without ID. To prove dat he was Sachin he pulled out his bat and struck a beautiful shot across the bank. With that shot we knew him to be Sachin and cashed his checque.”
“Another time, Mahesh Bhupati came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my teacup. With that shot we cashed his cheque.
So, sir what can you do to prove that you are the future Indian PM, Rahul Gandhi?”
RG stands there thinking, for quite some time, and finally says:
“Honestly, my mind is a total blank… There is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do; I just don’t have a clue. I will go & ask mummy”.
” Jaha hum khade hai line vahise shuru hoti hai. “When similar thing happened with Shatrughan Sinha, he silenced everybody saying, ” Khaamosh !! ”
AK Hangal went back saying, ” Itna lamba line kyo hai bhai ?”
Raj Kumar said,” Note badlenge, zaroor badlenge.Lekin bank bhi hamara hoga, note bhi hamara hoga aur date bhi hamari hogi.”
Famous villian Ajit had no problems in exchanging his notes. He simply made a call to the Bank Manager and said, ” Dekho barakhurdar … Tumhari beti hamari kabze me hai !!!”
Dhamendra ground his teeth saying, ” Kamine, kutte, gin gin ke note badlunga. ”
Meena Kumari started crying saying, ” Hai khuda parvardigar ! Mai kya karu ? Kahan jaau ?”
Rakhee banging her head on God’s Feet and shouting……..mere 500 aur 2000 ke note Aayenge……😜
Prem Chopra : Main vo bala hoo jo 500 ki duplicate note deke 2000 ki asli note Loonga.
Gabbar Singh………Aare Oh Banker…….Line Me Kitne Aadmi The……
Hema Malini : Nahiiiii Mujhe chutte do. Main 2000 note ka kya karungi. Main toh chiller pe bhi nachungi.
Amrish Puri : Mujhe naye note mil gaye. haaaaahaaa…Mogambo khush hua…
Rajesh Khanna : Babu moshaay…yeh duniya rang rangili he…kal blue aur hari note thi …aaj gulaabi hai😆😆😆
How one step has changed the narrative in last 2 days:-
1. Kejriwal is not worried about Najeeb Ahmed (JNU) any more…
2. No news of chacha bhatija fighting #UPelections
3. Guys… PM is again travelling abroad!! Please criticize him…
4. One Jawan was martyred yesterday – no tears, no condolences!!!
5. No one has time for Dalit atrocities
6. Delhi Smog – Not affecting anyone?
I guess, people are more busy in exchanging, depositing and “converting” money….
Friends meeting after years.
1st friend : How are you ?
How are the children? Where are they?
2nd Friend: Eldest son in SBI.
His wife in ICICI.
Second son in HDFC.
His wife in Canara Bank.
Youngest daughter, not married, in Axis Bank.
1st Friend: So all well settled in Bank Jobs?
2nd friend : No, they are all standing in the queue there.
Income tax department has sent notices to the group admins seeking details of all those people who are not participating in chat since November 8th ……
IT dept feels these people may be busy converting their currency.
But, I feel irritated when i am forced to stand in a line for my country.
*The unsung heroes in the current context are the Bankers.*
They are all slogging.
On one side, they have to meet all statutory requirements in such a short notice.
On the other side, they have to handle the customers who are in a state of confusion and panic.
They have to handle these and at the same time, they have to take care of their normal work (monthly targets and KRAs ).
*As customers, let us be aware of this and treat our bankers with patience and respect.*
*They are also human beings.*
(Pls forward this to all your friends to create this awareness.)
Some more update:-
1.Cash withdrawal from bank counter is restricted to 10000 per day and 20000 in a week which may increase in coming days.
2.Cash withdrawal from ATM upto 2000 and will increase 4000 further
3.Medical purchase, crematorium, air travel, rail travel will given relaxation for use of old currency
4.Bank will be closed on 9 November for public dealing
5.New 2000 and 500 note series will be in circulation soon
6.All payment modes like cheque, clearing,bank draft will be same as earlier
7.Govt plan to phase out short denomination notes soon
8.RBI will release notification soon
America counting Votes, India counting Notes…😂😂😂
Tomorrow Jayalalitha will wake up from ICU and run to the nearest Bank
#Jumped red light, caught by police walah, gave him 1000 ka note. Police walah- Sir 100 hi de do…
*Dont worry friends*
*I will accept all your Rs.500 and Rs.1000 Notes without asking any questions….*
*… Rs.12 per Kg.*
Going to marriage has requested the host to please arrange for credit card machine 😂😂
Do you realize what’ll be the date in 2 hours?
One 9/11 shook America the other one is shaking India..
Sharad Pawar has just been declared the poorest man in country ! 😂
You can joke about it but Pawar sahib is above all this – he owns probably half of Pune and Baramati…. And much more…. This 500/1000 notes would be small change to play with MP/ MLAs
Looks like many are not liking the move because
Everyone had prepared for Clinton n trump tonight Modi came out of syllabus 😛
Man goes to ATM after the news.
Smartly punches in Rs 400 for withdrawal.
Machine gives him a Rs 1000 note.
Message on screen – “Keep the change ”
On a different note, please educate yourself and help others to prevent a panic situation. Help your domestic help, maid, driver, Aayah by educating them on how to exchange their money. Give them short term loans to help them tide over next few days. Talk to them about this change. Don’t let them get sucked into malicious schemes. Do your bit please.
₹2000 note features:
– iris scanner
– hd led display
– water resistant
– built-in siren
And if you offer bribe, Gandhiji will slap you.
My Analysis of on ongoing Note Return, pl do have ur views !
Before UP election Modi will deliver (1) He brought ex amount of unaccounted money in home as Black Money, since all transaction will now pass through Identity basis (2) That in India every one now owns a Bank Account (3) Daily tips or cash for VOTE will now cost Rs 2000 (4) Instead of going to Swiss Bank Black Money is retrieved from Indian Soil (5) The Currency Note now owns a Swachh Bharat Tag means from now every Govt. will change the currency as per their own programs and not necessarily as per present leadership ideology (6) Wonder why Govt. didn’t put Subash Chandra Bose in place of Gandhi that would have influenced many; (7) Now all wait when the next call will be all non declared items in Tax will be Illegal. Remember Gujarati Only Understands Money nothing else !
A Leave application..
I have one 500 Rs note with me, no bus or auto fellow accepting & bank also holiday.
Taking leave till further arrangement..